Let’s talk like girlfriends for a sec, cool?
I’ve realized how real it is today for women to FINALLY have a sense of self love and loving their bodies and thoughts for how they are.
What a time to be alive… *happy dance*
Howevaa, in the midst of all of this “self-love” I’ve been practicing I feel like I have been telling myself not to worry about things that actually contradict who I am and who I really want to be.
Shit I have been telling myself:
“Love your curves, you don’t need to be a size 4, your appearance doesn’t affect your performance, you don’t need to have a tan, who cares if you don’t love your outfit you aren’t here to impress anyone, you don’t need makeup to feel pretty…. “
… and so on.
While all of these things are super true and applicable to many women, the true me actually does care about these things. Not to impress anyone, but to feel like myself.
Let’s get real.
I don’t like how short I am,
… my eyebrows,
… my short stubby fingers,
… my lady lumps,
… my chin,
… my dimples.
I hate how much my body has changed since college. Not to mention how much more difficult it is to lose a couple pounds now vs. then.
… how the climate and water in Florida has wrecked my skin,
… that I can’t get consistent UV Rays because of the history of my health,
… how much I LOVE pizza.
Why am I saying this?
Put simply, I feel like I have been using self-love as an excuse for my lack of ACTUAL self-love.
These things that I’ve listed above about what I “dislike” about myself, I’m sure many of you have complaints similar to this.
Maybe not that you’ve told random people on the internet like ya girl here BUT, I do this for a reason.
I’ve been so in the trend that I stopped wearing makeup, stopped doing my hair, like even stopped wearing a normal bra ( um, sports bras are the realest anyways).
Don’t get me wrong, the opinions of other people do not really have an influence on me or the things that I do. I just do, because I want to or I “think” I want to.
But my gosh when I sit there and tell myself to love those things and accept them, you would think the universe had a bright yellow highlighter to sneak up, and put a giant circle around them.
It’s impractical for me to get bent out of shape over my dimples (of the face, ya pervs)
I can’t change them, I was born with them and it’s not doing anything negative to my body by them being there.
On the flip side, for me to “accept” that I have rolls where I didn’t use to or to overlook the fact that I feel self-conscious when I am out in public with my husband because I don’t feel like I have put enough effort into my appearance… that is NOT OK.
It is literally MORE UNHEALTHY to let those things slide by because I am trying to accept myself because it starts putting me in a very negative state of mind & because it can and has had a negative impact on my health.
I CARE about my body being healthy and my skin feeling clear.
I CARE about feeling pretty and like I actually put effort into myself everyday.
It’s super important to me to feel fit, and fuel my body with the right food.
And you know what?- THAT’S OK
If you are one of those people who literally won’t go anywhere without her eyebrows done and some mascara on, I’m telling you that it’s ok.
If you can’t imagine life without having your nails done, it’s ok!
If you have to have your hair washed and perfect everyday, ( I salute you) and tell you that it is totally ok.
If you would rather work 9-5 for a steady paycheck vs. work to build your own business, you guessed it: that is A-OK!
But ya know what?
If none of that is important to you and your life requires some other accommodations… it’s ok.
I’ll give you my weird obsessions:
- I have to have mascara on, if I don’t… I feel so naked. Recently I started putting on a very light layer of sunscreen+foundation and actually doing my eyebrows and a few other things. It makes me feel like it’s time to start my day!
- I really don’t like not working for myself or for something I am not passionate about. If I am not fulfilled in my work, I go crazy.
- I have to have a clean apartment. When my surroundings are cluttered, freak out mode is on.
- My devices have to be charged when I leave the house. If I am anywhere close to under 50%… anxiety.
- I really can’t stand having some things be generic products or “store brand”
- Mustard (plochmans or nothing), Cereal (I never eat cereal, but I NEVER eat Loop-D-Fruits.), Dish Soap (Is there anything other than Dawn?), Toilet Paper (Respect Uranus.) and there’s more.
- I have to workout. Being active is my form of depression & anxiety medication. Even though some days I really don’t feel like it, I never regret getting up and going.
- I freaking love pizza. Right now, I can’t tell you the last time I had pizza. Hence, this story I’m telling you about maybe not always going with the flow. Be strategic about your guilty pleasures.
- I also freaking love beer……
- I have to take my vitamins.
- And for some weird reason I am obsessed with weighing myself. Good and bad. But I use it as a way to gauge where I am. I am pretty in tune with how I feel about my body but nothing is as honest as measuring tape & a scale.
Do you identify with some of these? What are the things that you feel guilty for HAVING to have?
Case & Point:
When you stop worrying so much about suppressing the organic parts of you, you’ll start living the happiest life you could live.
It’s okay to want to look and feel good. It’s okay to give not one shit about your looks, as long as it’s not you telling yourself lies about what you really want.
But, in my opinion, what’s important is that you are happy, healthy, positive, & living your best life.
Get in tune with yourself & find that REAL self-love. Not the one that the media tells you to have.
Thanks for reading,